Accomplishments....

Today, after I finished exercising, it was time for me to go take a shower.  Sebastian, my almost 3 year old, usually likes to join me while I shower. So I told the kids I was heading upstairs to shower and I asked Sebastian if he was coming. Of course, he jumped up and started heading up the stairs.

I let the dogs out and then headed up behind him.  As I turned the corner, Sebastian was already reaching the top step. As he climbed the final step, he turned around and looked at me with a huge smile. He pumped his fists in the air and yelled "Yay, I did it!" I couldn't help but smile.

Seeing him do this really got me thinking. I wish I was the type of person that could celebrate every little accomplishment. I tend to be the type of person that follows along the lines of "Go big or go home".  It would be nice if I would allow myself to relish in the small accomplishments. Maybe if I did, I wouldn't feel so defeated at times.

I think the next time I accomplish something, even if it is something I've done a million times or something that doesn't seem to make much of a difference, I'm going to pump my fists in the air and yell "Yay, I did it!" Maybe with a little practice, I'll start to feel like it matters.

Looking For a Job...

I've been a stay at home mom (for the most part) for quite some time now.  As much as I enjoy spending time with my kids, I feel like I would really like to go back to work full time.

I've recently started looking for a job and hope I can find something that I would enjoy doing. Of course I'm hoping it will be in nursing (don't want to waste all the time and hard effort I put into my degree). I don't want to be too picky but I also want to find something that I can look forward to doing everyday.

I am excited about the idea of going back to work. Getting to use my nursing skills would be nice. It would be nice to have a little extra money as well. And getting out of the house and being able to talk to others about something other than Spongebob would be wonderful!

So far I've put in one application. I've got to find the right job that will work with my husband's schedule since he travel's a bit. I'm not sure what my chances are of getting this particular job...probably not too good, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try.

I'm really hoping it doesn't take too long to find something. Even though I'm a little (okay, alot) nervous about going back to work, I'm really looking forward to starting this new chapter in my life.

A Mother Knows

My daughter is getting married today. It should be a joyous occasion. I should be happy for her. But I am not.

He is not the right man for her. She is not happy. He hurts her. She denies this and puts a smile on her face. But I am her mother. And a mother knows when her children are not happy. A mother knows when her children are hiding something.

This afternoon I will sit and watch her father walk her down the aisle. I will hope she will turn around and run the other way but I fear she will not. She will walk to this man and become his wife. Her future will not be a happy one. I know this. I am her mother. A mother knows when her children are walking into a mistake. Unfortunately there is very little I can do.

I've already expressed my concern to her. I've told her I think she is making a mistake. I've asked her to reconsider. She tells me not to worry. She tells me she'll be fine. She tells me she is happy. She tells me they love each other. But I am her mother. I know otherwise.

So as they say their "I do's", I will watch with a heavy heart. The tears I will cry will not be tears of happiness. I will watch her go down this path only to get hurt. But I will be waiting. Waiting to help her pick up the pieces. Waiting to help her get her life back. Because I am her mother. And a mother knows when her children will need her most.