Accomplishments....

Today, after I finished exercising, it was time for me to go take a shower.  Sebastian, my almost 3 year old, usually likes to join me while I shower. So I told the kids I was heading upstairs to shower and I asked Sebastian if he was coming. Of course, he jumped up and started heading up the stairs.

I let the dogs out and then headed up behind him.  As I turned the corner, Sebastian was already reaching the top step. As he climbed the final step, he turned around and looked at me with a huge smile. He pumped his fists in the air and yelled "Yay, I did it!" I couldn't help but smile.

Seeing him do this really got me thinking. I wish I was the type of person that could celebrate every little accomplishment. I tend to be the type of person that follows along the lines of "Go big or go home".  It would be nice if I would allow myself to relish in the small accomplishments. Maybe if I did, I wouldn't feel so defeated at times.

I think the next time I accomplish something, even if it is something I've done a million times or something that doesn't seem to make much of a difference, I'm going to pump my fists in the air and yell "Yay, I did it!" Maybe with a little practice, I'll start to feel like it matters.

Looking For a Job...

I've been a stay at home mom (for the most part) for quite some time now.  As much as I enjoy spending time with my kids, I feel like I would really like to go back to work full time.

I've recently started looking for a job and hope I can find something that I would enjoy doing. Of course I'm hoping it will be in nursing (don't want to waste all the time and hard effort I put into my degree). I don't want to be too picky but I also want to find something that I can look forward to doing everyday.

I am excited about the idea of going back to work. Getting to use my nursing skills would be nice. It would be nice to have a little extra money as well. And getting out of the house and being able to talk to others about something other than Spongebob would be wonderful!

So far I've put in one application. I've got to find the right job that will work with my husband's schedule since he travel's a bit. I'm not sure what my chances are of getting this particular job...probably not too good, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try.

I'm really hoping it doesn't take too long to find something. Even though I'm a little (okay, alot) nervous about going back to work, I'm really looking forward to starting this new chapter in my life.

A Mother Knows

My daughter is getting married today. It should be a joyous occasion. I should be happy for her. But I am not.

He is not the right man for her. She is not happy. He hurts her. She denies this and puts a smile on her face. But I am her mother. And a mother knows when her children are not happy. A mother knows when her children are hiding something.

This afternoon I will sit and watch her father walk her down the aisle. I will hope she will turn around and run the other way but I fear she will not. She will walk to this man and become his wife. Her future will not be a happy one. I know this. I am her mother. A mother knows when her children are walking into a mistake. Unfortunately there is very little I can do.

I've already expressed my concern to her. I've told her I think she is making a mistake. I've asked her to reconsider. She tells me not to worry. She tells me she'll be fine. She tells me she is happy. She tells me they love each other. But I am her mother. I know otherwise.

So as they say their "I do's", I will watch with a heavy heart. The tears I will cry will not be tears of happiness. I will watch her go down this path only to get hurt. But I will be waiting. Waiting to help her pick up the pieces. Waiting to help her get her life back. Because I am her mother. And a mother knows when her children will need her most.

Puppets, caterpillars, & robots!

Since Mark had drill today, my plan for the day was to take the kids to the playground after lunch and spend the afternoon outdoors. When I woke up this morning, the sun was shining but by the time lunchtime came around, I could see the dark clouds in the distance and I knew we wouldn't be able to go to the playground as promised.

So what could we do instead??

After lunch we read a couple of books that we bought yesterday at the book fair at Eric's school. Then we curled up on the couch and watched a movie. After the movie, I pulled out the craft box and let our creative juices flow.

 

We started off making some paper bag puppets!

                        Then moved on to a spring time theme and made some caterpillars and flowers!

 

And Eric had to have a robot.....

It is now close to dinner time and the rain has moved out. The sun is shining again. I'm sure we'll be heading outside soon. Even so, the rain didn't put a damper on our fun!

Boobs!

I still currently nurse my 2 1/2 year old. He is my 5th child. My older children are very use to seeing me nurse. I tend to only nurse him at home now and because we are home, I don't bother trying to be discreet. Sometimes though this leads to interesting conversations in my house. For example, the other day we were all outside and Sebastian wanted to nurse so he climbed up on my lap, pulled my shirt up and started nursing. Eric (my 6 year old) decided he wanted to draw and ran inside and got some paper and a pen. The following conversation ensued....

Eric: I'm going to draw a picture of us. Mom, I'm going to draw your boobs! (giggles)

Me: Why are you drawing my boobs? (A little worried about what type of picture he is drawing...lol)

Eric: Because...

Me: Well we all have boobs. Why don't you draw yours?

Eric: Because they're not big like yours! (giggles)

Me: Oh. Well you know why they are big, right?

Eric: Because you have milk in them for Sebastian.

Me (feeling a little better about the direction this is going): Yes, mommy has milk for Sebastian.

I was happy to see his drawing and the normalcy in which he views breastfeeding.....

Eric, Nathan, Mark, Me nursing Sebastian!

                                

My new backyard friends....

One of the things that I enjoyed in Ohio was my huge backyard. We always got a ton of squirrels! I know it's not recommended, but I would feed them on a regular basis. They would always come back and I would enjoy watching them run and play in the yard. They were quite entertaining. I swear, we had the fattest squirrels in the neighborhood!

Since we've moved to Florida, I haven't seen too many squirrels. Our yard is much smaller now and we haven't had one squirrel come visit us. I think the only place I've seen them running around is at the zoo. Probably because of all the trees and places to hide.

Even though I do miss my squirrel friends, I have come across a few new backyard friends that have been keeping us entertained.... some friends that I don't think I ever expected to see and probably never would have in Ohio (at least not in my backyard!).....

Getting into shape...other than round!

Now that we are pretty much settled in our new home, I've made the commitment to lose this extra weight I've gained over the last few months.

Problem is, I really don't like to exercise. I enjoy going for walks but at a leisurely pace, not a pace that would really burn any calories. I hate bike riding and I can barely swim so those are not good options for me. I find the treadmill to be boring. Running is something I would consider but I need to find a really good sports bra first. My boobs are just to big to run comfortably without one. I am not into sports so much....I feel I am not coordinated enough to do something like tennis or aerobics class.

So what am I to do??? I opted for an elliptical trainer. We recently invested in an elliptical machine and I'm hoping I can stay motivated enough to continue doing it. It's tolerable and doesn't require much coordination though I'm afraid I'll get bored with it like I would with a treadmill. I'm trying to keep in mind the health benefits of getting in shape and how much better I'll feel once I lose weight. I'm also hoping my daughter's upcoming wedding will be enough to keep me going!

Why does losing weight and getting in shape have to be so much work? I know it'll be worth it in the end but it just seems like such a chore.  It's so much easier putting the weight on.