On Hold....

A few days ago I received an application in the mail for The Midwifery Institute of Philadelphia University. I so desperately would love to fill out the application and send it in before the deadline, which is Nov. 1, for spring semester.  I know, however, this is not the right time to start it.

I assume it was sent to me because I inquired about the program some time ago with hope of immediately continuing my education after I finished with my BSN.  Since then, my life has definitely been in an upheaval.

I successfully graduated with my BSN in May and shortly after my husband received his PCS orders to Florida. I thought, no problem. The University of Florida has a midwifery program as well.  We'll move there and I'll get my application in and be back in school by spring semester.

We spent the summer getting the house together to sell. Making a few repairs and applying some fresh paint before getting it on the market. I really was hoping the right person would come along and buy up our house so I could move with my husband. Since we are not the Rockefellars, if the house didn't sell, I would need to stay here because we can't afford two house payments. I was excited when we had a couple come look at the house the first week it was listed. Unfortunately, they have been the only couple to look.

When my husband left in September to report to his new duty station we tried to remain somewhat optimistic. Our hope at that point turned to getting the whole family to Florida before christmas.  As each week goes by, I get slightly more and more discouraged.

I of course miss my husband and want my family back together again. But another reason I want to move and get settled is I'm tired of putting this dream of becoming a midwife on hold.  This has been a dream a long time in the making.

I first got involved with the birth community back in 1994 when I became a childbirth educator. In 2000 I was trained as a doula and I graduated nursing school in 2003 with my associates degree.

That was the first time I put this dream on hold. I was going through a nasty divorce and the time was not right for me to continue with my education. I dropped out of my bachelors program and dealt with the situation at home.

Things eventually settled down and I moved on in life. Remarried and had 2 more kids. I started working with my midwife in 2006 as a birth assistant and went back to school in 2007. As I got closer to graduation, I started to look into my options for my masters. I knew I would probably need to do a distance program because there are not too many universities that have midwifery programs. That is when I sent for information regarding the program at Philadelphia University.

This brings us to the present day. An application in the mail reminding me that I need to put this on hold for a while longer. The time and commitment needed for the program is something I can't do while my family is separated. There is enough stress right now. Adding to it would make it very difficult for me to be successful. Maybe we'll get lucky and the house will sell soon and I'll be able to head down to Florida. Realistically though, the way it looks is we'll have to take a big hit on the house and I probably won't get down to Florida until after the new year. Too late to start the spring semester of school. Blah!

I know I'll eventually reach my dream of becoming a midwife. It's my calling and I can't ignore it. I have no doubt I'll get there. It's just a matter of time.  I just needed to complain a little bit. Thanks for listening.